These problems requires deeper analysis and approach from multiple psychological, sociological, and financial perspectives. The paradox in this modern world reflects the fact that today we have an approach to many dating sites and applications, but less sustainable and stable relationships between couples.
Today’s tempo of life and social expectations are demanding and tough for most young people. Social networks are promoting pretty high standards in all domains of life. Young people are under huge tension and pressure to become successful and satisfied in their emotional life, career, and parenthood.
The bad news is that great ambitions and dreams can backfire at you and make significant damage to your mental and even physical health, but you should always have a healthy dose of optimism and a positive attitude. This should be your primary weapon against enemy no.1 of mental health, depression.
Psychological problems
One of the main sources of emotional instability is right this important element. Under this term, I refer to an unrealistic perception of yourself, your capabilities, and the society you are interacted with.
Lack of confidence
Confidence is a simple word easy to pronounce, hard to gain, and once you lose it you can crawl back into bed and form a fetal position. In some situations, confidence can be identified as self-respect or self-esteem.
Boys and girls without self-respect will have no confidence in you. When it comes to your emotional life, confidence is closely related to your physical look, material, and social status. It’s extremely hard to be perfect in all these areas of life and it has its coast-your mental health.
Physical appearance
You think that you are not good enough because you are not physically attractive, then you got stuck in the place and you don’t even dare to make the first move and approach a person you find pretty. The situation worsens after you get rejected a couple of times and you conclude that the main reason for your failure is your look. Well, maybe is all in your mind, if someone turns you down it doesn’t mean that your physical appearance is the main reason.
It could be your wrong approach to that person, a tough emotional period she/he is getting through, or that person is already in a happy relationship. There are many possible reasons why that person refused you, but there is a good chance that you ‘ill never be able to find out the real reason. As you can see, your physical appearance has a significant impact on your self-confidence.[1]
Well, you must be aware that physical looks matter, especially when someone is “scanning” you for the first time. “Don’t judge a book by its cover” sounds like a cliche these days. The harsh truth is that you”ll be judged from a physical perspective at least at the very beginning. If you are a guy you” ll probably have to pass certain criteria of your future girlfriend.
You can’t always accuse someone of being shallow, because this is in human nature since the dawn of mankind. Physical appearance is something that you noticed first, before anything else. Beauty is in the eye of the observer, as different persons we all have various standards of beauty.
If you are aware of your physical disadvantages, don’t despair you can always improve your physique through exercise and a balanced diet.
Some features you won’t be able to change like your height, face shape, limb length… Already a huge plus to your look is maintaining personal hygiene at the highest level, always wearing clean and smooth clothes, and making sure you smell nice.
Regularly exercising and following a diet plan will for sure benefit your physique and overall health. If you stayed disciplined and consistent results will be reflected in the mirror.(read more)
Every smaller success you achieve in improving your physique like doing more working sets, lifting heavier weights, or boosting your stamina will have a huge positive impact on your confidence. You don’t have to be Mister Olympia and have an ultimate physique, your goal is to be the best version of yourself.
Pretty-privilege works on the principle that more attractive people may have an upper hand in all aspects of life. For successful and profiling emotional relationships good looks are less important in the long run. Then your whole personality, attitudes, and values come into play.
You are having high expectations
This attribute can cost you dearly in your emotional life.Idelasing your partner and expecting a love story from a fairytale, can be led to a series of disappointments and setbacks.
In this kind of situation, emotional burnout is unavoidable. If you are constantly looking for complaints and flaws in your partner, it is unlikely that you”ll find happiness in your emotional life.
You have to accept your emotional partner with all virtues and weak points, and the best way to do so is to get to know your potential emotional partner well before you start a serious relationship. You always have to be aware of how much you can give and what to expect in return when you are in a relationship.
Unconditional love and attention are something wonderful, but if you want to gain this precious gift you have to be patient, caring, and trusty toward your emotional partner.
If there is real chemistry between you two he/she will appreciate your constant attention, if not you are just wasting your time, energy, and effort. Unrequited love can be painful, but it’s far better for you to end the relationship at the early stages than to prolong suffering and emotional exhaustion.
You have to be aware that falling in love and loving someone are two different perceptions. When you are falling in love you might be idealizing your emotional partner, temporarily disregarding his flaws and negative aspects of his personality. Loving him means accepting him with all his virtues and imperfections.
Try to imagine these two terms as two separated cliffs and the long wooden hanging bridge placed between them full of rotten boards and unstable ropes. Crossing this “imaginary” bridge can be challenging with a lot of turbulence and obstacles, but once you succeeded, you can proudly say that you love someone.
Get to know yourself
If you want to find a suitable partner you have to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, capabilities and desires, and you have to try to make a good balance between these terms. Yes, maybe is correct that opposites are attracted, but major differences and disagreements in your ambitions, values, and life goals can put an emotional relationship to an end.
Common aspirations and objectives should make your relationship more reliable and sustainable. This is one of the key segments you want to consider when you are choosing an emotional partner in the long run. Physical attraction has to be present of course, it’s enough to spice things up in a bad, so it seems to you that your relationship is ideal.
Well, brace for an impact it’s time for a reality check. After long intense nights and lessons of passion, you might realize the nasty truth. THIS PERSON IS NOT FOR ME! The only thing we share is physical attractiveness and great sweaty sex. It is hard to believe, especially if you are a teenager or in early twenties but sex can get boring over time.
Being intimate with your emotional partner doesn’t necessarily mean just having great sex. If you have opposite values, ambitions, and goals, and sex is the only thing that is connecting you, it’s unlikely to maintain a stable and long-run relationship.
Financial factor
Since we are living in the material world this aspect of our lives becomes very important. Your material and social status may drastically affect your emotional life and choice of emotional partner.
Young people often find themselves in uncomfortable and tricky financial situations because of various obligations like; payment of student loans, relatively small earnings at the beginning of their career, and finding suitable accommodation with decent rent…
One of the possible scenarios, why your emotional life is suffering is because of your (temporary) financial insecurity and instability. You may find yourself less valuable because you haven’t managed to settle down in your career and have a great salary or profit.
Don’t be discouraged you can always change your career especially if you are a young person (read more)
Age shouldn’t represent any kind of problem, the main question is do you have the necessary skills to make a switch? You can always work on expanding your skill set and gaining new knowledge.
Yes, maybe your present lifestyle can’t afford a fancy apartment or house, expensive car, and, vacation at attractive destinations, however, one thing you certainly don’t need is an emotional partner who will value you only through your financial capabilities.
You’ll always have financial ups and downs, and the last thing you need is your emotional partner deserting you after some kind of financial setback or difficulty.
A financial crisis could be a trigger for many arguments and disputes in a relationship, however, it could be a real test of mutual devotion, respect, and commitment to your life together.
Another situation involves constantly jiggling after your career and neglecting your emotional life. If you are a career-focused person, and you are single that’s fine, but if you are in a serious relationship that could represent a problem.
Lack of commitment and patience, in the long run, can be fatal for your relationship. Things could get even worse if you are continuously criticizing your emotional partner for not keeping the pace in financial segment with you (or the opposite)
Financial factor is important, but it shouldn’t be decisive. You can always put some extra effort into your education, mastering new skills and expertise, and even changing completely career, if your goal is earning money.
There is no need to compete with your emotional partner who is contributing more to a house budget, a qualitative relationship promotes supporting and helping each other not contesting.
Social Factor
This factor implies your compatibility with existing social norms and standards. The social factor is closely related to your financial capabilities, so your profession and the industry you are currently in, determine how successful you are. What is your position? Are you just an ordinary employee (worker), CEO, or owner of a prosperous business?
Social norms and expectations are dictating your tempo of life, setting high standards, and these unwritten rules can be very harsh if you are not in a profitable industry, or if you are not in a well-paid position.
The situation gets worse when these unwritten rules and commands start to navigate your timeline for example you didn’t complete your college degree in time, you are at a certain age and you haven’t started a family, you are not progressing fast enough in your career, or you haven’t bought your place to stay (house or apartment)
Increasing social expectations and demands can negatively affect your emotional life. All these expectations and standards can make you feel like a complete loser. Demoralized and underrated you could easily give up your emotional life because you see yourself as a failure.
Conclusion:
In the twisted world of social networks, perfection is almost required in all aspects of life, although it’s difficult to obtain that kind of illusion, many people are trying so hard to do so. The greater illusion is, the higher standards are.
You should realize that all people are different and you have your unique timeline. Don’t live your life according to someone’s else expectations and desires. Yes, you should work on yourself, expand your skill set, gain new knowledge, and improve your health and fitness by exercising regularly, your goal is to be the best version of yourself, not to live a fairytale from Instagram.
You’ll be in a serious relationship when you feel ready for it, you’ll also become a father/mother when you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it, not when your surroundings told you so. It is nice to hear some useful pieces of advice and tips from people you love, however, you should immediately distance yourself from a toxic environment and people who are trying to dictate to you how to live your life.
Source:
[1]– https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/
